Dear Fat Girl I Saw at Hot Yoga in New York City,
Perhaps I should call you OTHER fat girl at Hot Yoga, as I was there too, easing back into my Fat Down Dog, forward to Fat Plank, then melting and pushing up to Fat Cobra, etc etc, all the way through my big fat hot Vinyasa flow. (This should be a movie—My Big Fat Hot Vinyasa Flow—I would SO go to see that.)Is it wrong that I am half in love with you? For being fat and at Hot Yoga? For shaving your legs and getting a GOOD pedicure and putting your big ol’ ass into yoga pants ? For unrolling your mat and claiming your space, a rounded duck standing defiantly on one squatty leg among flamingos.
- Current Mood: cheerful
“I actually think,” she said, still whispering as she watched the seconds blink away, “that the best sort of company is the sort where you almost feel alone anyway. The sort where you can say out loud all the things you’d usually only think to yourself. Or where you don’t have to say anything at all, and it won’t matter. Or where you can behave in ways that nobody else would ever expect of you, without fear of eliciting exclamations of surprise or disapproval.”
- Current Mood: thoughtful
- Current Mood: indescribable
If I could only listen to one music genre for the rest of my life it would have to be rock. I think rock is an assembly of most other styles, blues, jazz, classical and so on. It has less rules it has to follow to be labeled as rock so there is more of a selection to listen to.
I'm in an odd mood today, I think spring fever is about to hit. I have a little bit of wander lust running through my veins today. I'm starting to think where I want to go this year, what I want to see. Money is tight as usual and I didn't win the the lotto yet so I am force to scale back a little bit. I know I am feeling restless and I want to burst out of my skin. I have read that a Scorpio is the sign of change, death & rebirth. I think that has always been my problem. I am always ready for something new but life doesn't work that way, most times you have to force change and not wait for it. The problem with forcing change is that you have to decide what the change will be. I rather it be a surprise, I'm lazy that way.
- Current Location:United States, ,
- Current Mood: restless
I sometimes wonder if my wheel of Fortune card will always be a reminder to me of what I learned this pasted year. Before last year when the Fortune card came up in a reading, I would just skimmed over its context with a simple; "It means something is going to change." During this last year many things changed for myself and those close and dear to me. When I had time to myself to stop and take in which way my life was spinning, I tended to picture in my head my wheel of Fortune card. I would sometime imagine myself trying spool my life on to the wheel. Like I was measuring how far I still need to go before things would stop getting worse. I always knew the card meant the circle of life, I simply forgot to think about my placement on the wheel. How during my lifetime I will experience both high and low periods.
During this last year that image has helped me stay centered. After a pity party or two I could accept that it was my turn for my fortune to turn downwards. I don't picture my life as me running on a wheel like some hellish treadmill. No, I picture its more like I am a wheel and I am steering down a path. I can't avoid the low periods but I am stubborn enough to believe I can help determine how long they last.
"Gam zeh ya'avor" -- "This too shall pass"
Looking back at this last year I have come to realize I have been very fortunate in my misfortune. There were quite a few events in this past year that have been quite humbling for me. Some I saw coming and then others that just blind-sided me. I didn't always take these hits gracefully and my friends and family put up with my sullenness, my sometimes sharp words and my angst. There have been many times this last year that I have stopped to think about how fortunate I am to have so many good people in my life. It warms me from my heart outwards to know that I am loved and cared for by these people.
I like looking for the good in people; I find it more pleasurable than always picking out the negative. In this last year I saw people's goodwill come out of the woodwork. I was laid-off in November '07, so my friends decided we were not going to exchange gifts at Christmas because money was tight for me. Instead they surprised me and they all bought me a gift. And because they truly know me, they gave me very practical gifts that I would appreciate. My whole family stepped up to the plate and gave me everything I had wanted but never asked for. When my apartment building was flooded, James didn't hesitate to pick me up from the emergency drop site or to offer up his home for however long I might need to stay. The next day I went to work, Lisa, a woman I work with and have slowly gotten to know invited me into her home. She said she had a spare bedroom if I wanted it. I stayed there for 18 days and her family never made me feel unwanted or intrusive. It was amazing. This is only a few moment this year that makes me thankful and proud to know these people.
This last year has taught me a lot about myself and what I want. How much I need and what I place importance on. I feel like I am waking up.
- Current Mood: contemplative